You know what they say about ASSUMING

 It's been a hot minute since I wrote something in my blog. I've been off in my fictional la la land where I can escape the worries of the world...or at least correct them. 

But I was reading a story recently that just had me hit pause for a moment and take to my blog, because honestly, my heart hurts from what I see happening. It's nothing new really. We make assumptions every single day. But are we right every single time? No. And do we come to the assumption in the mindset of love...or hate? 

It seems in this day and time, more and more it leans the latter being true. We are way too quick to assume someone is doing something to hurt us or offend us or sway us.

Here's a little story- This happened to a family member of mine recently. After buying a few groceries at the store, they were leaving, and saw someone coming into the store, so they pulled their items out of their cart and left it for the person coming in as a courtesy. But the man that came through the door started yelling at them. "Are you too lazy to put the cart away?"

Where did their assumption come from? Love or Hate

Here's another story that happened to me. I went to work out at the gym. I'm always pretty observation while I'm working out, to make sure I'm not moving in on someone's equipment while they are doing their circuit. 

I noticed a specific piece of equipment, I wanted to use, was empty except it had weights on the bar and a bench beneath it. There was no one around that looked like they were using the equipment so I moved the weights and bench and adjusted the bar. As I'm doing my exercise, I hear an irate voice behind me say, "I wasn't done with that."

I finished my set and apologized. I said, "I'm sorry,. I didn't see anyone around the equipment so I figured the stuff just got left." 

He told me he'd gone to the bathroom. I apologized again and offered to help him reset his stuff but he declined. We both basically made assumptions. I tried to respond in kindness while he was less than kind. Later, I went back and apologized again and his attitude had changed. He apologized for barking at me, I guess realizing there was no way for me to know he wasn't done with his sets.

In the story I read, someone made several assumptions about someone else based off how they were raised. Every single assumption they made was wrong. 

We always think our assumptions are right. But what if they aren't? We will not be right every time so when we go into an argument or confrontation with someone, how should we approach? If we approach in a kind, loving manner, does it not stand to reason that we might have a better resolution. If we went into a confrontation or discussion trying to see things from the other person's perspective, would it not be easier to understand where they are coming from? 

There is so much information out there in the world these days, it seems every subject has opposing sides and it is hard to determine what is factual and what isn't. So whatever we've heard or read, we need to realize that we may have our 'facts' wrong.

Everybody has their beliefs and I think we all have a right to believe what we want to. Heck on the news recently, they said they have concrete proof that there are aliens out in our galaxy and some have come to earth......

And when people spout off their beliefs most of the time they aren't doing it to be mean or confrontational, they are doing it to have confirmation that they are on the right track. So the best thing to assume at the end of the day is ......Positive Intent........it won't happen every time, but if we approach with understanding and kindness, instead of returning the attack, maybe just maybe we can change the outcome.

It's Your Choice

 Decisions Decisions Decisions! Life is full of them. Some are easy, like, what to make for lunch. Oh wait, that one is kind of hard. How about, whether to brave the 110 degree heat and go for a walk or stay inside in the air conditioning. No brainer. I will pick the A/C over sweat. 

Your life IS the decisions you make. Chances are you have made a few good ones and a few bad ones. There are some curveballs thrown in there, that might be unexpected but how you deal with those curveballs, again, is a decision you have to make and it will affect the course of your life. 

I can think of tons of choices that I've made both good and bad. Here are just a few that have brought about huge changes in my life.

I've always heard that in life you can choose to be the Villain, the Victim or the Hero.

I never wanted to be the Villain. Most people don't choose that path. I always wanted to be the hero. I like helping people. But there were times I played the part of the victim. Everyone has those moment of "why me." Unfortunately, some have more of those moments than others. But in those moments, after a brief intermission of losing my mind totally, I chose to search for a way out. I never liked the feeling of being helpless so I chose to have the mindset of "things will get better." But in those moments, I knew I couldn't just sit there and wait for the better time to happen. I had to pick myself up and put one foot in front of the other. 

It was the same when tragedy struck. After losing my father, my step-father and my best friend, I could say I've had some tragedy in my life and I might even have the right to be a bit bitter. I could have easily let it consume me.

But, I choose to remember the good memories, not the bad. Yes, in some of the hard times I've faced, bad memories sneak in from time to time but again, the choice is there whether to let it take hold or take flight.

We've all had times in our lives that are bad memories. Times when we've felt less than perfect. I could rattle off tons of accidents I had,(I was a bit accident prone), embarrassing moments, things I said and wish I could take back, and days where I've just felt like I should have stayed in bed. They all creep into my thoughts and I shudder. But instead of crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head thinking I'm a lost cause, I chose to live with it.

Yep, I'm awkward. And guess what, someone fell in love with that fly by the seat of my pants, awkward redhead.

Which leads me to my next choice. I chose my hubby. Well it wasn't all my choice, he had to choose me too, but this one was a big decision. It was a definite LIFE CHANGING choice and I knew it going into it. The decision to love someone for the rest of your life is not easy and sometimes I think we forget we chose to love that person. Life gets in the way, with jobs and kids and before you know it you are just basically living with them and trying to survive. The love you had when you married, that you promised in your vows, suddenly is a distant thought. You didn't vow to survive with the person, you vowed to love them. It's a choice.

Love them like the day you married them. Crush on them. Adore them. You'd be amazed at what comes back to you.

And while you are choosing to love, choose to love everyone. Most people will say, well I already do that but for me, in the era I was raised in, I am finding, I didn't. Just being honest. I can make excuses like I didn't learn the truth in school or it was how everyone was raised around that time but the good thing is, I realized I was being judgmental against people and I chose to stop. The truth is, we all need love. We all have stuff going on in our lives that no one knows about and just a side-eye can tear someone apart but a simple smile and hello can make their day. So why not choose to put a smile on someone's face.

There's a boomerang effect when you choose the positive, when you choose to smile, when you choose to love. Others feel it and it bounces right back to you.

OLD

      What exactly is old? How exactly do you measure it? If you are fifty are you old? Does the moniker come when you start getting Medicare or collecting Social Security? 

      I thought about it, and quite honestly, I don't want to be old. I'm over fifty and closer to sixty and I really don't want to ever get to the point where I say, "I'm old." 

      I think old is just a mindset and I would much rather be called childish than old. People say maturity and wisdom comes with age. But to me, when people start having the mindset of being old, too often than not, they give up. They start believing they can't do things because they're "OLD."

     I think that's a load of horse poop. It's all about what you think you can and cannot do and if you believe you can do it chances are you can. 

     None of us know how long we have on this big blue marble and no one has a clue what "OLD" is, so how come some people just pick a date and say, "I'm done. I'm old. Time to stop having fun." I just don't get it. Why not choose to LIVE until the very moment you take your last breath. 

 

Run circles around someone half your age.

Grab an ice cream and drive the drag in your convertible.

                                                                                        

 Play a prank on your best buddy.

                  Take a long bike ride.

Oh and one of the worst ones is, "I'm too old to love." What's with that? That, my friends, is just an excuse. No one is too old to love. We need to get over the whole 'OLD MARRIED COUPLE' thing. We all can have a love like a hot romance novel if we set our mind to it.

                           

      In fact, we CAN do anything with the right mindset. We are never too old. 

And if you are worried about the fact that you don't have the body of a twenty year old or that your looks have long gone because you are OLD, think again. These people didn't let age stop them. 

You don't have to either!

T

The more I think about it, the more it bothers me when people say, "you can't fight getting old." 

My comeback is, "Watch me."

The Artist

      It's snowing! This makes me tremendously happy. As I sit and watch the snowflakes fall peacefully to the ground and melt, I consider their intricacies and how they are made. Now whether you believe in a creator or just a fluke of science, it doesn't matter to me. Snowflakes are just plain cool.     

     But, they aren't perfect, at least not in our eyes. When you look closely, some sides are more detailed than others leaving them unbalanced and some seem like just blobs of ice. 

     Now I choose to believe, there is someone out there who made the snowflakes so delicate and pure, who made the sky turn brilliant colors in the morning and evening, who made the ocean waves white capped as it rolled to the shore, who made the thunder and lightening to light up the sky and who made the rainbow after the storm.

      I believe there is someone out there who made the wolf's howl so eerie yet so beautiful who made the sound of a baby's cry set a pain inside his mom's and dad's chest, and who made the sound of an uncontrollable laugh be contagious to those listening.

     I believe there is someone out there who allows our skin to tingle with the touch of love and who makes us sigh when we taste something delicious.

     The creator simply is an artist. Each of his brush strokes is for a reason to bring light into the darkness and color into the emptiness. His entire creation is to bring us joy just as an artist's painting or a song writer's lyrics or even a writer's words are created to bring us joy.

     Life is amazing through all of our senses, isn't it? So, why does it seem nothing is perfect in our eyes? We see our world as flawed and sometimes it's hard to understand. Somewhere along the way, we started focusing on what was wrong not what was right.

     But here's the thing. Even though we see all the flaws, I truly believe the one who created us, still sees us and the world as his perfect artistic piece. See, I am not the scientific type. I don't even know if I have that part of my brain that is logical and analytical or if there is even such a thing as right brain and left brain. All I know is, as an artist, I love to imagine what could be and put it down on paper, hoping to make someone happy with the final result. What if we looked at life the same way we contemplate a piece of art. When you stand in front of a piece of art, you don't think about whether it has flaws, you look at how each brush stroke wove together to create this beautiful painting. It makes you wonder what the artist was thinking about while they created it, and I choose to think the one who created us is similar. He is an artist. He loves to create stuff from his imagination, contemplates what colors to use, chooses the placement carefully then watches us smile as it takes our breath away when we see it.

     I know I smiled this morning numerous times while I watched it snow. I even giggled with joy. But my thoughts went back to the idea that there wasn't one perfect snowflake. 

In my eyes, human eyes, nothing is perfect. No one is perfect and we tend to focus on the imperfections. I don't think the creator looks at it that way or wants us to.  He created every snowflake with it's own design because each one adds to the beauty overall. He created each person with their own unique character, their own unique look, to follow their own unique path to add to his grand tapestry of life. 

     Isn't it time we looked at this world as being unique and not flawed? How different would the world be if we changed our perception. 

      

    

When God Plays

     I believe in God. Some people do, some don't. I respect your decision either way. I have my reasons for believing. I was raised in church, but that's not why I believe. Yes, that's how I heard about God, and Jesus and prayer, but that's not why I believe. There are many reasons I believe, but one of the main reasons is I have had too many things happen when I prayed that just couldn't be a coincidence.
   
     I was raised from childhood to pray. So I do. I talk to God about everything. Recently, when my grandson was coming to visit, I talked to God about helping me keep the six year old entertained during this time when everybody is supposed to stay away from everybody else.

     Usually, I would take him to a splash pad or the zoo or, his favorite place, the aquarium. But that was not in the cards this time. This time it was just us and the great outdoors. So, we went on adventures, and I hoped he wouldn't get bored.

     I like to go on walks in the morning and stare up at the beautiful sunrise but for a six year old, staring at the sky only keeps his attention for a split second.

     But, I should have never underestimated God. He had it handled from the time my grandson bailed out of the car and ran across the backyard. The first thing he found was a bunny that seemed to have no real desire to hop away.

As he explored more, he found a butterfly 

                                                                   that seemed to enjoy being petted. 

Now butterflies are nice, but my grandson loves dragonflies. So God made sure he threw thousands of them around my house just for his entertainment. We went dragonfly hunting just about every day.

Those creatures are fairly common around our place, so after the first day I was again worried that my grandson would get bored with seeing the same animals and bugs every day. But, never fear, God wanted to play. 

On one of our morning walks, I saw a dark mound under a tree. At first glance I thought it was just a pile of leaves, but I decided to inspect a little closer.

 It was a turtle. Now, seeing a turtle is cool, but God just decided to show off and let us watch as the turtle laid eggs. I've never seen a turtle lay eggs. Have you?

My grandson is fascinated with bugs of all kinds. He can tell you interesting facts about many of them. On one of our walks we found a live Cicada still in it's exoskeleton.

It was in the middle of the street so we decided to rescue it. My grandson asked how long it would be before it shed it's shell. I had no idea. 

After putting the Cicada on a low branch in one of our trees, we went inside. 

Of course, ten minutes later we had to check on him. 

Do you know what we found?

We found him shedding his shell! God was really enjoying playing, and he wasn't done yet.

A storm was coming and my grandson asked when was the best time to see lightning. I told him when it got dark. God figured the best way for him to see was to show him. So he put on a magnificent lightning show. (not my photo, I was too busy watching the show)

We found mounds of golden mud in our yard on one of our adventures and my grandson asked what it was from. I told him it was a crawdad hole. God didn't want the little boy just to see an empty hole without showing him what lives in it, 

so...

I thought I had seen everything by then. I had lived in my house for twenty some odd years and had seen one, count them, one crawdad the whole entire time. You wanna know how many times I have seen a turtle lay eggs before God decided to play? None. El zippo, zilch. Same goes for the Cicada shedding his shell. And guess what? He still wasn't done.





Remember me telling you that my grandson loved bugs.? God decided to put a little icing on the cake before my grandson's trip ended with the appearance of what my grandson called a Citrus Longhorn Beetle. Pretty cool looking little guy.









So yes, I do believe in God, and I do believe he hears us pray. I believe God loves, more than anything, when his kids are joyous and boy did he see joy on a six year old little boy this week when he played with him. Not to mention a few giggles from me.

I'm going to love you...

     Ahhhhh... young love. That fluttery feeling that you get in your chest every time that guy or girl appears. You barely can breathe. Oh, and the first kiss.

The first time your lips touched and lightening bolts shoot through your entire body. And what about the moment that you knew that person that left your legs weak was the ONE.








     There is nothing like love. It's the greatest feeling in the world. But, I heard someone say not too long ago, that that love, that passionate, adoration, knee weakening love is for fairy tales and romance novels. Why? Have we become a society that has become disillusioned with love? Or have we forgotten how to love or what it is?

     We all know that feeling when we meet our true love. The attraction, the passion, the never wanting to be separated from them. Their kisses and touches make you feel like the world stopped.

     After marriage, we quickly fall into routines and jobs and dealing with kids and trying to balance it all can be so overwhelming that after a while we feel like we are just surviving. The last thing we think about is love. We push love aside for another time and that other time keeps getting pushed down the road until years have passed and suddenly the one we loved, the one who we couldn't stand to be separated from, the one who made us weak in the knees is nothing more than a companion. How sad is that? Do you know what is even sadder? Suddenly losing someone that you once loved with all your heart.

     There is a song titled "Love You Like I'm Going to Lose You." We think the people we love will always be there. But, sometimes that's just not true. Sometimes the ones we love the most, suddenly are taken from us. If you don't think it will happen to you, don't be too sure. No one knows their last day.

   

       One day you are playing out your usual daily routine of chaos and the phone rings and someone is on the line telling you the one you love has been in an accident or gotten sick. It all becomes too real too quick and suddenly you can't remember the last time you told them you loved them and you wonder if you will ever be able to tell that person how much you love them again let alone show them how much you love them.
     We need to stop and take a breath and realize what we have. Think about those first days, that electricity, that first kiss, the adoration. That passion. Then we need to love that person like we're going to lose them. Be more than a companion. Tell them what they mean to you and show them that you love them with the passion and adoration that you did when you first fell in love with them. It's not too late to rekindle that love. No matter how old you are.

     

Random Ramblings of Cabin Fever

     Shelter in place, they say. So, I do. I've only gotten out to go to town a handful of times these past couple of weeks and that was just to go to the store and pharmacy and maybe just ride around.
   
    I've filled my time with writing and little projects around the house like the DREADED pulling weeds but even that has been put on hold because it has been raining.
   
   I go for walks and have set up a quasi gym in my spare bedroom and been exercising as much as possible, because that is what the healthcare professionals say to do to build your immune system.
   
   Am I afraid? Well...honestly? Yeah. I think everyone is a little. It's the unknown. We are having to take a wait and see attitude because no one really knows what will happen tomorrow. No one really knows if all the reports are accurate or if there will be a vaccine made available or medications that will lessen the severity. It's all speculation at this point. It's good to be a little afraid because that makes you a little more cautious and cautious is good at this point. You think about your actions, take few more healthy steps, wash your hands a little better, a little more.
   
    But, although I will admit to being afraid, I have faith that everything will work out. We will come out of this. Our country might look a little different, but we will come out with the knowledge that, though we may be a bit battered and bruised, we may have a few cuts and scrapes, we fought through the battle and won. And yes, this is a battle. This is a war on our country and the world. We, as soldiers, have been given instructions to fight, and we must take it seriously just as if we have been given guns and ammunition.
   
    So, stay home if at all possible. Wash your hands often and disinfect anything that comes into your house. Don't touch your face. Eat healthy foods with lots of color. Get some exercise and get some sleep. If you have family with you, spend quality time with them. Video chat with those who aren't with you.

     And don't forget to take the time to remember, even through these uncertain times, you are blessed.