Where's my Brain

    I have an amazing mom. So much of her inspires me every single day. She taught me many things that molded me into the person I am today. One thing she used to tell me was 'kill'em with kindness.' Which meant even when someone was being less than kind to me, be kind. It will confuse them. It paints kind of a funny picture in your head. I passed that on to my kids.
   
     Something else she taught me was 'never stop believing you can achieve your dreams. If a door shuts, look for a window.'My life has revolved around that motto. So many people see others achieving their dreams but think they could never pursue what they really want out of life. You see athletes on the football or baseball field or Olympians and think, "Wow, that's so amazing. What a great accomplishment, but I would never be able to do that." And, you won't...if you don't try.
   
     Let's be honest here, what's the worse that could happen if you try? It just doesn't happen. Yes, it could be disappointing but you move on and possibly look for a different way to make it happen . If you don't try you will always have that nagging thought in the back of your head saying "What if I actually did achieve my dream?"

     I have had moments where I pursued a dream and it worked out well, and other times when I got a less than stellar response.

     I have always loved to write. At thirteen I started writing music. In my twenties and thirties I wrote skits and plays. There was just something so cathartic for me when I sat down to write.
   
     About two years ago, I was on a trip and I happened to pick up a romance novel. I had never really been a reader but I needed something to read on the plane. The story captured me and pulled me in. I fell in love with the characters and the story line so much so every chance I got I picked up the book so I could continue on the journey. When I finished the book I offhandedly told my husband I would like to write like that. Where my characters felt like the people next door. His comment, basically, was why don't you? That one comment along with my mom's 'believe you can achieve your dreams' lit a fire within me.

     I sat down one day with an idea and started writing. The more I wrote the more the story came to life. The characters developed their own personalities. I could see their story playing out. It was like a movie playing in my head.

     I met a local author who encouraged me and gave me pointers and I applied them to my writing. Then one day she told me about something she called Jano. It was a challenge she put in front of me to write a novel in one month. Now a romance novel is normally around seventy thousand words so the idea of writing that much in one month was kind of daunting but I wanted to try.

     I had an idea for a story and on New Year's Day, I started. Every time I had some down time I grabbed my laptop and wrote. By the end of the month, I hit my goal. I wrote a romance novel. The next step was, what to do with it. My author friend, being the wonderful encouraging lady she was, told me to publish it. At first, I thought that was a big leap. This was my first completed novel and though I loved the story, I figured it probably needed quite a bit of work to measure up to the other romance novels out there. But, that was what I wanted, wasn't it? Didn't I set out to do exactly that? My mom's voice popped into my head again.

    I followed my friend's advice and started revising and editing the story. I just knew how to put words to the page but not understand all the rules for writing a romance novel plus it had been forty years since I had been in school so my grammar and punctuation knowledge was very rusty. It was an interesting learning curve but I pushed on. Then, I let a few people read it. That moment, when I allowed others to read my novel was nerve wracking. The thought played through my head on constant replay, "What if they hate it."

    They didn't. One more step forward.

    I finally got to the point where I was ready to submit the story to a publisher. I researched a few and picked three to submit to. Most said it would take several weeks to get a response so in the mean time I decided to start on another book.

     After several weeks I did get a response from one. They liked the story, but being a novice writer took it's toll and they rejected my manuscript. But, they offered advice and told me I could submit again after some more revisions. 'When a door shuts, look for an open window.' I wasn't going to give up. At first it felt like a huge task. I was told I needed to push the climax closer to the end of the story. That meant taking several chapters away. But, I started revising, adding some to the front of the story, taking away from the end of the story, adjusting the punctuation, taking away unneeded words. In the end, I was happier with the revised version.

    I resubmitted the story and waited. Finally I got the e-mail. My dream came true.

   

 
 

 

I took a trip...that changed my life

     Any trip you take for the first time is exciting. Memories are made that will probably last a lifetime. Most of my trips over the years have been what I call scenic trips. You go to see the sites of a new location. See what the place has to offer. I have been to the coast of Florida, Texas and Mississippi and there isn't anything quite like sticking your toes in the wet sand and letting the waves wash over your feet.

     I have been hiking in the mountains of Utah and New Mexico and I think I could be very happy living among the pine trees or staring at a mountain range for my view.

     I love exploring new places and seeing what new cities have to offer. But, on a recent trip I was completely overwhelmed with emotion.

     We were traveling through Tennessee. It was an impromptu trip so we didn't have anything planned. We visited Nashville stopping at the Ryman Auditorium

just to say we had been there before taking in a hockey game. Nashville is so different than I pictured it.















It was fascinating but it was our next stop that brought me to my knees.

     When I checked the internet for things to do in Memphis, one item stood at the top of the page. The Civil Rights Museum. I was very interested in going although if I am going to be perfectly honest, I was a little nervous. I couldn't explain why. When we got there, it surprised me that the museum was the actual motel that Martin Luther King Jr. was killed at.

The motel sits just as it did the day he died. The room where he stayed is still exactly like it was the day he died. 

     The rest of the motel, though the same on the outside has been remodeled to show the history of the Civil Rights Era. One room shows a timeline of events that happened throughout history. Another shows a video taking you from slavery to the Civil Rights era. As I walked through, I realized just how much I didn't know. I don't know if my school just didn't teach much on it or I just didn't listen, but on this day, my heart was taking a massive hit. 

There was a room depicting the story of Rosa Parks. The voice of the bus driver berating her as she refused to leave the bus.

   Another room told the story of the Sit-In, where four African American college students walked into white only restaurant and asked for coffee. When service was refused, they sat peacefully waiting to be served and the sit-in was born. 

   














I walked from room to room, my heart beating furiously in my chest, wondering how I had missed so many of these stories. I knew a few, not well, by any stretch of the imagination, but so many of the stories I read, were so heart wrenching and I had never even heard of them.

     The one story that truly brought tears to my eyes was the Freedom Rides.  In 1961 The Congress of Racial Equality sought to test the Supreme Court decision of Boynton vs. Virginia which stated that segregation of Interstate Transportation facilities including bus terminals was unconstitutional. The original thirteen Freedom Riders were seven African Americans and six white. They started in Washington D.C. and planned to travel to New Orleans, Louisiana. They traveled through Virginia and North Carolina without incident. When they reached South Carolina three of the Freedom Riders, were attacked when they attempted to enter a white only waiting room.

     When the bus reached Atlanta Georgia, the thirteen split into two groups. One group rode Greyhound the other Trailways. On May 14, 1961 the first bus to reach Anniston, Alabama was the Greyhound bus. An angry mob of over two hundred was gathered outside of the bus terminal causing the bus drive to drive past. The mob followed the bus and blew out the tires. When the bus stopped a bomb was thrown on board. All the passengers got off safely but were then beaten by the mob.

      The second bus pulled up in Birmingham, Alabama to another angry mob and the riders were beaten with pipes. As the rides continued through Alabama the mobs grew and more riders were beaten until 600 Federal Marshalls were called in when a riot broke out after Martin Luther King held a church service in Montgomery in hopes of quelling the violence.

     In Jackson Mississippi there was no violence but when they tried to use any white only facility they were thrown into prison. The court case went all the way to the supreme court before being overturned.

     Finally, in the fall of 1961, the Interstate Commerce Commission issued regulations prohibiting segregation in Interstate Transit Terminals.

     I have to admit, this whole story was new to me when I went to the museum. I walked away with such a pain inside me, I could barely speak. I didn't know.
   
    I got to thinking, maybe there are others who are in the same boat I am. People with fairer skin who love all colors of people but don't know the history of our friends of a different race and what exactly they have dealt with.

     Well, this might give you an idea. But, if you get a chance to travel to Memphis, make it a point to stop at the Civil Rights Museum. It will change your life.

Just Breathe

     Sometimes I get stressed. We all do. Things in life just hit us up side the head and spiral us into a never ending black hole. We allow ourselves to be "what ifed" to death by our imagination and before we know it we are completely and totally overwhelmed. It's not pretty.
   
     I have found myself more than once wadded up in the corner of a sofa with my arms tightly wrapped around my waist thinking what am I going to do, when in reality, when it was all said and done, the answer was quite simple. We have all been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

     But recently I have been taught something that has helped me. Mindfulness.

Some people would call it meditation. But, for me it's just a way of refocusing.

     Now I know what some of you are thinking, meditation is a religious practice. Trust me, I have thought the same thing but just like yoga, it doesn't have to be. Yoga is a way of stretching your body and strengthening your core by holding positions. Can you add some religious practice to it? Sure, but it can be any religion or none at all. Same with meditation.

     Meditation is just a way to relax and refocus. Period. And it works. It helps move you from the scattered "I gotta do something" mind to the "What is most important at the moment."

     I'm going to give you a few simple prompts to work with. You can do it with or without music, I choose without. I like the quiet.

     Get into a relaxed position. You can sit in a chair, prop your feet up, lay down, whatever works.

     Now, close your eyes. Sit quietly for a moment. Take inventory of how your body feels. The fabric against your body. Maybe the cushions you are sitting on. Where are your hands resting? Now, relax your face. Relax your arms. Relax your stomach. Relax your legs.

   





Next breathe.

Take a deep breath in. Focus on your breath coming in through your nose, filling your lungs, then going out through your nose. Feel the coolness as it comes in and moves down your throat. Feel your lungs expand.

   






Now focus on your thoughts. Picture them rolling through like waves. They roll in and then fade. Rest in your thoughts for a moment.














     Return your focus to your breathing. Focus on the air coming in, your chest expanding and the air leaving. Take a deep breath, let it stay for a moment then release it slowly.

                                                                      Open your eyes.

     This should take about 3 minutes of your time and trust me, when you are done, you will feel relaxed and much more capable of taking on whatever you have in front of you. Try it out.
I have attached a link to one on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEfs5TJZ6Nk

     Let me know what you think.

In the Eye of the Storm

     Today I was thinking about firsts. That feeling you get when you are doing things for the first time. It's exhilarating. Do you remember the first time you got behind the steering wheel of a car? Or the first time you stood before an audience. Okay, so that might not have been as exhilarating as terrifying but...doing something for the first time always comes with a few heart palpitations.

     The news of hurricane Dorian triggered the thought of a first I had several years ago. I watched in horror as the video feeds poured in from the Bahamas as the hurricane approached. Now my heart is aching after seeing just how devastating the storm was.

     You see, the Bahamas was a first for me.

It was the first time for me to venture out of the US. Yes, I know it wasn't much of a stretch but the whole idea of needing a passport to go to this place just felt special. It was a brand new adventure. The only other time I had stepped across the border was walking over to Juarez Mexico from Texas for a day trip. No passport needed. No, this trip meant something far greater.

     Even though I had taken trips to the beach before, when we arrived, it felt like I had stepped into another world. The beach was pristine. The water was a deep blue. Conk shells littered the water's edge and there were starfish in every color of the rainbow. Our hotel had this airy feel to it. We walked through the bar area which was open on two sides. The backside of the bar opened to a large pool with a deck and past that was this beach. It looked like something from a postcard.

I remember so much about that trip. They had a grand dining hall with tons of fresh fruit including Papaya. That was also a first. It was my favorite. The flesh of the fruit was similar to a peach and just as juicy and sweet. I have tried it several times since and I can't find anything that comes close to what I had there.

   



We snorkeled one day. Because it was the end of February we had to wear wet suits. Again, another first for me. I can remember seeing all the fish that you would normally see at the aquarium. The water was crystal clear.

 

     One day we ventured outside of the resort and ate at one of the local restaurants. It was the first time I had ever eaten fried conk. Let me stop right here. I had no idea really what a conk was until this trip. But, evidently, they are a staple as far as meals are concerned. I honestly, wasn't too impressed. They were a little chewy. 

     Another first during the trip was driving on the wrong side of the road. Well, technically I was riding but let me tell you, it feels really weird.

 But, during our exploration of the area we found remnants of a US missile base and, 

A lighthouse.

We also made a stop at a really pretty cavern. 













     As I watched the news this week, I realized that most of the places I saw on our trip, are probably gone now. I can't be sure, but it broke my heart to see the video of the devastation. The thought kept rolling through my mind, I was there. I know that place. It was so beautiful.
                                                    My heart goes out to those who live there.