Where's my Brain

    I have an amazing mom. So much of her inspires me every single day. She taught me many things that molded me into the person I am today. One thing she used to tell me was 'kill'em with kindness.' Which meant even when someone was being less than kind to me, be kind. It will confuse them. It paints kind of a funny picture in your head. I passed that on to my kids.
   
     Something else she taught me was 'never stop believing you can achieve your dreams. If a door shuts, look for a window.'My life has revolved around that motto. So many people see others achieving their dreams but think they could never pursue what they really want out of life. You see athletes on the football or baseball field or Olympians and think, "Wow, that's so amazing. What a great accomplishment, but I would never be able to do that." And, you won't...if you don't try.
   
     Let's be honest here, what's the worse that could happen if you try? It just doesn't happen. Yes, it could be disappointing but you move on and possibly look for a different way to make it happen . If you don't try you will always have that nagging thought in the back of your head saying "What if I actually did achieve my dream?"

     I have had moments where I pursued a dream and it worked out well, and other times when I got a less than stellar response.

     I have always loved to write. At thirteen I started writing music. In my twenties and thirties I wrote skits and plays. There was just something so cathartic for me when I sat down to write.
   
     About two years ago, I was on a trip and I happened to pick up a romance novel. I had never really been a reader but I needed something to read on the plane. The story captured me and pulled me in. I fell in love with the characters and the story line so much so every chance I got I picked up the book so I could continue on the journey. When I finished the book I offhandedly told my husband I would like to write like that. Where my characters felt like the people next door. His comment, basically, was why don't you? That one comment along with my mom's 'believe you can achieve your dreams' lit a fire within me.

     I sat down one day with an idea and started writing. The more I wrote the more the story came to life. The characters developed their own personalities. I could see their story playing out. It was like a movie playing in my head.

     I met a local author who encouraged me and gave me pointers and I applied them to my writing. Then one day she told me about something she called Jano. It was a challenge she put in front of me to write a novel in one month. Now a romance novel is normally around seventy thousand words so the idea of writing that much in one month was kind of daunting but I wanted to try.

     I had an idea for a story and on New Year's Day, I started. Every time I had some down time I grabbed my laptop and wrote. By the end of the month, I hit my goal. I wrote a romance novel. The next step was, what to do with it. My author friend, being the wonderful encouraging lady she was, told me to publish it. At first, I thought that was a big leap. This was my first completed novel and though I loved the story, I figured it probably needed quite a bit of work to measure up to the other romance novels out there. But, that was what I wanted, wasn't it? Didn't I set out to do exactly that? My mom's voice popped into my head again.

    I followed my friend's advice and started revising and editing the story. I just knew how to put words to the page but not understand all the rules for writing a romance novel plus it had been forty years since I had been in school so my grammar and punctuation knowledge was very rusty. It was an interesting learning curve but I pushed on. Then, I let a few people read it. That moment, when I allowed others to read my novel was nerve wracking. The thought played through my head on constant replay, "What if they hate it."

    They didn't. One more step forward.

    I finally got to the point where I was ready to submit the story to a publisher. I researched a few and picked three to submit to. Most said it would take several weeks to get a response so in the mean time I decided to start on another book.

     After several weeks I did get a response from one. They liked the story, but being a novice writer took it's toll and they rejected my manuscript. But, they offered advice and told me I could submit again after some more revisions. 'When a door shuts, look for an open window.' I wasn't going to give up. At first it felt like a huge task. I was told I needed to push the climax closer to the end of the story. That meant taking several chapters away. But, I started revising, adding some to the front of the story, taking away from the end of the story, adjusting the punctuation, taking away unneeded words. In the end, I was happier with the revised version.

    I resubmitted the story and waited. Finally I got the e-mail. My dream came true.